There is the fact that many people keep on wondering if they are dating the right person; the right guy, the right girl, and so on and so forth. They keep wondering if they person that they are with is the one, the correct person they may end up spending the rest of their lives with when the time came for them to settle down and start the family of their dreams. Well, you are not alone, folks, for even the celebrities, in their hunt for the perfect handbag_ ie, their perfect mate_ keep on trying on the toga of many marriages and divorces.
Well, there is one way to make that relationship work out for the both of you and not for it be a one-sided thing that the one party is doing all to please the other one and that other one is doing everything possible to make life a living hell for the mate that is doing all they can to make the affair work.
Tired of all that work on the one part? Here’s some tricks on what to do to make the relationship try to work out between the parties involved.
Please the other party
People are really geared to do all they can to do the best they can for themselves and then to leave the other party hanging. Try, for once, to snap out of that me time and do something to try and please the other party you’re going out with. Want to go to a party while your lover who is an introvert wants to hang out in the home and read newspapers and watch some movies with his/her significant other? Go the way with that person and forget about the party stuff. You are in the relationship with the other party to be with that other party and not to go frolicking around the entire place thrusting third partied between the both of you.
When it comes to relationships, both for ordinary friends and the ones that are lovers or married, the main issue is to compromise. You must learn to try and find a common ground with your partner if you really want that relationship to work. Everything does not have to be about you: think of your significant other. Let there be some sought of common ground where the both of you can try to agree with the other because you’re there for each other and not just for yourself. Do you always try to have your way with him/her? Then I think you might both be headed for big trouble and that relationship might just crash against the rocks.
When there is something bothering you about what your significant other is doing, then try to talk it out. DO NOT SHOUT IT OUT. Shouting and screaming is one thing that really sends relationships dashing against the rocks. Try to be loving. If the tempers are too high, then go and read or take a walk to clear your mind or hit the gym or go to the market or watch a movie. Then later on, you talk. Never ever leave some issues unresolved between you and your partner because it might fester and then blow up like a time bomb when you guys least expect it to. You have to tell the other party that there are things to talk about and then you talk.
Is it your husband? Then get him to bed, give him the best sex he has ever had and then try to tell him what’s on your mind. Not however, that it’s not works for one couple that will work for the other couple; my shoes, my style, yes?
Are you type of person that always makes sure that you nag about everything your partner does without ever saying that the partner has any redeeming qualities? Then I am sorry to say this but you might be chasing the partner away without even realizing it. If your girl cooks burnt sausages which even SHE knows is burnt, tell her that it is the very best she’s cooked you so far and believe me when I tell you that she will try to burn her fingers next time before she thinks of letting your food burn. She has a nice hairdo? Lavish her with compliments; tell her she looks better than Madonna, and you will see her preen before you, lapping and soaping up all the praise. The hair might look like a goat wig, but then so what?
Does your boy hit the gym? Then tell him he’s got the best chest you’d ever seen on any male and he will die for you.
The point is: complimenting the other party will get you places but heaping curses and nags will get you heartbreak and you will cry like a banshee when your significant other finally decides to leave you.
When you are married to someone, there is the need for sex. Some people see this as the opportunity to relieve themselves sexually; you know, to get it all off. Others see this as the union of both the body and the soul, something that ties them and their significant other together.
However, many people go about this sex thing in the wrong way. They think only of themselves. The men think only of pounding away on their girls and the girls think only of the fact that they need to get their gratification and then life goes on. But then, what many people fail to take into cognizance is the fact that the sex thing should be all about the other person and not about you. If you focus only on giving the only yourself pleasure without thinking of the other, then there might be something wrong. What if you reach orgasm and your significant other doesn’t and you don’t even seem to care about that? That’ll make you out to be some selfish jerk that deserves nothing good from your partner.
If the two parties try to focus one on the other instead of thinking only of themselves, then the world will be a better place for all concerned.
The End Note
The world revolves around not one person but perhaps two or more of them. Do remember that there are two persons to a relationship, not one. Learn to think of the other person and not only of yourself and you shall have someone who will love you and will be ready to die for you. But sometimes, it might be good to bring out the bile and not only the sugar because of the fact that relationships are filled with ups and downs.
Enjoy, and do wait for the next post in the series. Love ya.