The ceaseless debate about effeminate men.
Everywhere you go online, there are millions of forums pertaining to the status of the effeminate male in the society. People just will not let them be. Do you like effeminate men? Are you attracted to the effeminate male? Is he gay? Why do effeminate men act the way they do? Are they all faggots? And so on and so on. It is endless! And it is so annoying! Why can’t people go and get a life? The debate about them is everywhere. I know that I have been stopped countless times on the road by people who want to know if I was gay, and if yes, why not let them fuck me? If I wasn’t, then why the femme attitude? Why can’t I act ‘normal’? And what the heck is normal if I may ask?
Effeminate men seem to enjoy a sort of glib notoriety that is reserved for the bad boys and the Playboys that we have in the society. And why all the fuss? Some time ago I read a person’s dissatisfaction with the fact that there are too few effeminate characters who are heros in novels, particularly in gay fiction. And yet, I ask again, why all the fuss? Why not let them be? And who said that the effeminate male must be gay in fiction? And if gay_which they almost invariably are in books and other entertainment articles_ why kill them, or make caricature of them in these works? Why can’t we have the same respect for the effeminate male as we do for the straight-acting male?
And even in dating sites and hookup sites, the debate rages on. In the fashion world, they continue to yap about them ceaselessly. The effeminate male is glorified and prettied up for the camera so the fashion people can sell. In music, it’s now the craze for the stars to be pretty and feminine because if sells to the women audience_ talk about Bill Caulitz and Gagckt, Andrej Pejic and others. Still, people continue to talk and rant about them, hating them, others loving them, and some being so indifferent to them. Many people ask a lot if questions about them: “how do you effeminate men date women? ” “are women attracted to you guys? ” “why are you all so gay???? ” “why can’t you butch up and act like REAL MEN? ”
And while this is going on, I ask myself, who is a real man? Are effeminate guys not real men? Why are they segregated from the male population? Why are they being hit on as gays? Why do people see them the way they do? As abrasions of nature? Truly, this is so, annoying. And why can’t people stop equating being feminine with being homosexuals? What do people see in these feminine men that, make them objects of gay desire for some men and objects of derision for other men and the society at large?
And I guess, and rightly so, I think, that there are no real answers to these myriad of questions that are flying around peoples’ heads and all over the information superhighway. So, what then? What is the way forward for them?????
This is Kingsley Adrian, the voice of the world.